March 3, 2013

The Life and Death of @Pontifex: a Post-Mortem of the Papal Twitter Account

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88 days of exhilaration. 88 days of ministry. 88 days of ornamental garden decorations. The Papal reign of Benedict XVI may be over, and with it comes the end of the Papal Twitter account. @Ponitfex may have been effaced from Twitter, but his indelible mark and tweets will live on forever, in our hearts. And now, we remember.

DECEMBER 12, 2012

clip_image001Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Dec. 12, 2012

Dear friends, I am pleased to get in touch with you through Twitter. Thank you for your generous response. I bless all of you from my heart.

One might have hoped that Pope Benedict XVI killed two birds with one stone and posted a #NoFilter Instagram photo, but what the Pope Emeritus delivered was nothing if not sentimental. Benedict XVI started with the basics. A blessing, straight from the heart. But more was to come.


clip_image001[1]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Dec. 12, 2012

How can we celebrate the Year of Faith better in our daily lives?

A puzzling question: how could we celebrate the Year of Faith? Would answering the Pope be rude? Was this a hypothetical question? Did following the Pope on Twitter count as a suitable replacement for keeping holy the Sabbath?


clip_image001[2]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Dec. 12, 2012

Any suggestions on how to be more prayerful when we are so busy with the demands of work, families and the world?

The Pope continued his interrogation of the general populace. Why did Benedict XVI have so many questions? Was the Holy Overseer truly distraught? Something was amiss, and the lingering question has yet to be answered. Still, the Pope followed with a fa├žade that merely covered the lingering questions raised by a troubled mind.


DECEMBER 24, 2012

clip_image001[3]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Dec. 24, 2012

The cribs that we built in our home gave me much pleasure. We added figures each year and used moss for decoration.

As if the Pope lent his Twitter account to Martha Stewart for the day, the Pope embraced his artistic side and ranted about his ornamental moss. Sadly, there was no photographic evidence of such moss, with the Pope selfishly hogging all the moss “pleasure” to himself. Don’t we all deserve the happiness given to us from God the Pope’s gardener?


JANUARY 7, 2013

clip_image001[4]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Jan. 7, 2013

May we defend the right of conscientious objection of individuals and institutions, promoting freedom and respect for all.

The Pope forgot the #sarcasm tag on this one.


JANUARY 13, 2013

clip_image001[5]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Jan. 13, 2013

What happens in Baptism? We become united forever with Jesus, to be born again to a new life.

The Pope desperately asks for religious instruction. No, seriously, what happens in Baptism?


JANUARY 23, 2013

clip_image001[6]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Jan. 23, 2013

Many false idols are held up today. For Christians to be faithful, they can’t be afraid to go against the current.

Was this the Pope’s public condemnation that he disliked Jennifer Lawrence’s Oscar buzz? Very poor taste on Benedict XVI’s part, seeing as J-Law was the clear favorite of the public. The talk of false idols also may have been a rare display of self-awareness and a foreshadowing of the Pope’s growing discontent.


FEBRUARY 2, 2013

clip_image003Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Feb. 2, 2013

Today I have a special though for every religious: may they always follow Christ faithfully in poverty, chastity and obedience.

Ahem, @TaylorSwift13.


FEBRUARY 10, 2013

clip_image003[1]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Feb. 10, 2013

We must trust in the mighty power of God’s mercy. We are all sinners, but His grace transforms us and makes us new.

It was all leading up to this. Even though the Pope retired on the 11th, the hints of his resignation had been there all along. The endless questioning, the relentless focus on domestic living, and the potshots at America’s sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence had all lead up to this: the Pope clearly had lost interest. And so, the resignation of Pope Benedict XVI would emerge the next morning.


FEBRUARY 24, 2013

clip_image003[2]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Feb. 24, 2013

In these momentous days, I ask you to pray for me and for the Church, trusting as always in divine Providence.

The Pope then continued to promote his upcoming movie project, Benedict Unchained, in which the Pope “gets jiggy with it” and celebrates Spring Break in Miami, much to God’s behest. The movie was not screened for critics and currently holds a 27% on Rotten Tomatoes.


FEBRUARY 27, 2013

clip_image001[7]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Feb. 27, 2013

If only everyone could experience the joy of being Christian, being loved by God who gave his Son for us!

Pope Benedict XVI was calling for a new Crusade, and then followed this tweet with “@pontifex #forcedconversions #crusade2013”


FEBRUARY 28, 2013: THE LAST DAY

clip_image001[8]Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

Feb. 28, 2013

Thank you for your love and support. May you always experience the joy that comes from putting Christ at the centre of your lives.

Just as he started, Benedict XVI culminated his 88 day Twitter affair with a heartfelt thank you.

No, Pope Emeritus, thank you.

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